Letter To Daughter's School Principal

Mrs. XXXXX

Principal

North HHHHHH School

EEEEEEEE, Mo.

Dear Mrs. XXXXX;

I would like to offer my profound apology, for my hostile behavior during our meeting earlier this year.  I was angry at Mrs. Sandra YYYYY's assertion that my daughter Revae would be held back this year in school if she did not attend after school tutoring classes.  The implication being that only the school system would be able to properly assist Revae.

As you know, and as my wife explained to Mrs. YYYYY, we did send Revae to reading tutoring class last year.  Her reading skills did not improve.  Albert Einstein stated that we can't resolve problems using the same approach that created them.  We heartily agree.

I appreciate your predicament.  Under Missouri Law a student that does not perform up to the required level must be given supplemental teaching assistance, to give them every opportunity to reach grade level.  Appropriately, you must document that assistance to demonstrate that effort.  It is very difficult to document parental assistance.

We had determined, and informed Mrs. YYYYY, that we would assist Revae in getting back to speed in reading.  We are both avid readers.  My wife and I are certainly qualified to provide the one to one assistance necessary to achieve the third grade reading skills she is lacking.  Mrs. YYYYY stated that this was not an option, Revae must take the school's classes, or she would be held back.  Implying, rules are more important than results.

You graciously concurred that parents could be an invaluable assistance in encouraging and assisting in the educational process.  I sincerely thank you that consideration.  We did not, however, receive Mrs. YYYYY's consent.  I truly believe that she resented our intrusion into her domain and the challenge to her authority.

At our first parent teacher conference, Mrs. ZZZZZ informed us that their efforts, were indeed bearing fruit.  Revae had progressed from a kindergarten/pre-kindergarten to a second grade reading level in the preceding two months.  We were pleased with this rapid improvement. 

However, Mrs. YYYYY requested that Revae be evaluated for a learning disability, despite the learning ability this demonstrated.  We disagreed with her assessment.  We stated that her attempt to classify Revae and to attach labels of disability to her records would be detrimental.  We did not and do not want her prodded and examined like a laboratory animal.  We did not want her to be to be labeled.

We were not given any credit for our part in Revea's achievement.  However, we were substantially influential in Revae's reading improvement.  We have several computer reading programs.  Examples are rocket reader and EyeQ.  My wife and I have devoted ourselves to assisting in that effort.  We believe that given time, albeit more than two months, Revae will read above the third grade level prior to the end of this year.   I believe that this assertion rankled Mrs. YYYYY.  Our challenge to Mrs. YYYYY's opinion and the assertion of our authority, has led to retaliation on Mrs. YYYYY's part, in our humble opinion.  Unfortunately, my daughter is an innocent victim of that retaliation.

She has been singled out and criticized before her peers.  She has been subjected to excessive punishment such as being required to walk during recess for five days, for running in the hall.  The punishment was not enforced.  She, quite intelligently, did not walk all five days as proscribed, walking only two.  She played, of all things.  For this infraction, she was called a liar by Mrs. YYYYY and informed that she be required to walk an additional five days.

At this time, mindful of my deplorable angry behavior at the start of the year and the resentment it had created, I determined not to criticize Mrs. YYYYY or her teaching method, but rather visited school to watch the interaction of Revae with her teacher, and to participate in her punishment to reduce the intended stigma.  I wanted to insure that she would retain her self respect despite being singled out for ridicule and hostility. 

In life we must all at times deal with angry, hostile, punitive people.  I hoped that despite her tender years, she would learn her responsibility for emotions and not succumb to the inane notion that pleasing others at her expense is her purpose in life.

I asserted that I loved to walk, and Revae invited several of her friends to walk with us and we all had a wonderful time.  Revae admonished that we were to not have any fun while walking.  I suggested that having fun is not something anyone can take away from you unless you grant them the authority.  I suggested that she openly defy the teacher's instructions.  We turned summersault, laughed talked in depth on many subjects.  I truly hated to see recess end. 

Mrs. YYYYY has placed Revae next the pencil sharpener in the classroom.  It is very noisy.  During my visit to the class after lunch over fifteen students sharpened their pencils in the portion of an hour that I spent there as she completed her worksheets. After Revae turned in her papers and returned to her seat, she turned to me and said, "at least Mrs. YYYYY wasn't mean to me this time." 

During that short visit, Mrs. YYYYY called on Revae to answer a question about money.  Revae was talking to me at the time Mrs. YYYYY put the problem on the screen.  It was very obvious she was not paying attention.  Rather than allow this small discretion during a father's visit, Mrs. YYYYY called on Revae to answer the question.  Revae quite naturally was at a disadvantage and stumbled on the answer.  Shortly after she sat down, she solved the problem correctly.  Unfortunately, she was intentionally subjected to unnecessary embarrassment in front her peers.

This type of punitive behavior is also apparent in Revae's homework where credit is subtracted for form, not substance. She loses points if she failed to put her "number" on homework, despite the fact that the homework is signed and complete.  Her spelling is corrected for penmanship, if she uses capital letters or traces a letter.  Her math is corrected for failure to add $ signs to a correct answer, if she uses the numbered length of line segment instead of letter designates.  If she uses letter designates to designate line segments, but fails to draw a line above the line segment the answer is counted wrong.  She loses complete credit in such instances.   

Her homework is studded with marginal comment of "STOP COLORING!" and "PLEASE  WRITE NEATER."  This despite 96 percent score on math, and a 100% on word find games.  I can provide numerous additional examples, but I believe my point is already clear.

It is my contention that these hostile, critical, insulting comments are calculated to create a tense and difficult learning environment for my daughter.  I believe that these actions whether intentional or subconscious create a hostile environment for my daughter.  They alienate her from her friends and open her to emotional and physical abuse from classmates.  She was recently hit in the back by Abbie who previously was her best friend.  On her last day attending North Harrison School, she stated after school, "They're not going to break me!"

I am in receipt of a letter dated November 17, 2006 from Barbara J. EEEEE stating that the special education department had received a request from the school for an evaluation. At the last parent teacher conference, Mrs. YYYYY requested and documented with a memo in Revae's file that Revae be evaluated to for learning disability.  We politely declined her recommendation.  I believe that this request, despite our objections, is an intentional effort to create family tension to further reduce Revae's learning ability, and prove Mrs. YYYYY's stated opinion.  I believe most all the aforementioned matters represent retaliation for my indelicate handling of her prior suggestions. For this I am sincerely apologetic and profoundly regretful.

I would like the copy of the memo requesting an evaluation of learning disability removed from Revae's file.  I would like any reference to the request for a special education removed from her educational records.  You may of course keep these to document your recommendations and our refusal to follow your suggestions.  I will not permit my daughter to be evaluated at this time.  I do agree that she may have a learning disability when at North Harrison School because of my unwitting bumbling.  However, I would like to mend these fences without sharing this letter with any of the teaching staff or counselors.  I particularly request that Mrs. YYYYY not be allowed to view or see this letter.

I truly believe that you and I share the same objectives, but differ on the path to achieve those shared objectives.  You provide an invaluable service to the community and I sincerely apologize for any criticism perceived in this manuscript.  Thank you for your kind consideration of this matter. 

Sincerely,

James T. Hitt,

Dad